Helpless
by brunettebabe71
Summary: What should have happened on Blair Waldrof Must Pie!


**So this is on Thanksgiving, Blair ****Waldrof**** must Pie! This is what I think should of happened. I'm sorry if part of it is graphic, the puking scene. I love you guys and please review and tell me if you want anything else done! X's and O's with perfume hearts, lol.**

Blair grabbed the fork so angrily. _Why the fuck can't she just let me have this? __This one holiday with daddy?__ Why does she get to control everything!?_

She shoved a mouthful in bitterly. _Well you can't control this can you __**mother?**_

_Blair stabbed the pie again and felt her hand launch the fork into her awaiting mouth. __You can't ruin this Nate._

She swallowed a lump of pie. _What are you going to do about this __Serena._

She took bite after bite, she felt better every time she swallowed the pie. Something she could control, something that she could fix, until there was one more mouthful left. She shoved it in bitterly. _You can't spoil this plan Chuck._

Blair took a deep breath. And turned her head slightly away from the empty pie pan, her eye caught on the reflection of the sparkling oven. At first she didn't seem to know who was staring back at her. But it hit Blair like a swift sucker punch. It was _her._ And Blair suddenly felt so disgusted, dirty, hateful, angry, hurt, sad, betrayed, lonely, but one emotion ran the strongest, she felt so _helpless._ So out of control. She hated that feeling, more than all the other ones combined. She snapped her head away. She hated herself when she got like this, defenseless and weak. People took advantage of the weak and Blair couldn't stand the fact that people could get to her.

It was one of the reasons that Nate couldn't fall in love with her, he needed to save somebody and she refused to be saved.

Blair rushed out of the kitchen, heading to a territory she knew too well. She ripped open the bathroom door, not even registering that she was being unladylike in her conquest. She quietly shut it, not wanting to alarm anybody. Her feet moved her to the bathroom counter, where her hand found the pepto bismal pink toothbrush, she clenched it automatically, like a robot. No emotion, no feeling. Just the way she liked it. The contradicting part was the fact that this was all done because of emotions, for feelings.

Blair walked to the porcelain bowl, kneeling in front of it. Her bouncy perfected curls hung in the way. With one hand she swept them back. And then it gripped the seat. The other hand directed the toothbrush down her throat. She jiggled the toothbrush slightly, wanting nothing more to get rid of the food. To get rid of the emotions, so many emotions. To get rid of the feelings of loss and helplessness. She dry gagged, and tears sprang to her eyes as her nose began to run. Blair shoved the toothbrush down her throat forcefully, her hand jerked out as the vomit flowed out. For the few seconds she was lurching the contents of her stomach out, Blair felt happy, in control. She coughed. She shoved it down again, gagged and coughed. She did this several more times, throwing up three. Tears streamed down her smooth skin, vomit hung from her chin, her nose ran, and puke splashed onto the porcelain bowl. But she loved the feeling, when she puked, she couldn't feel anything, she was throwing up all the bad, all the hurt, she was free. She sank onto the floor. Her stomach felt nauseous. Her eyes burned and she knew tomorrow her throat would too.

Blair hated herself again, for giving in, for letting them control her like that. A sob escaped her lips. She needed help. She needed somebody, and she hated that. Her trembling fingers grasped for her phone. She skimmed down the endless sea of names, starting backwards.

**Serena**_Never.__ Not after she betrayed me, she'll just judge, she always judges. _**Nate. **_And see the look in his eyes? __The disappointment, the disgust.__ He'll just wish I was more like Serena, thinking this is a sad ploy to get him back. No not Nate. _**Chuck. **

Every part of Blair wanted to. After all he was the one to discover her last time. And he had been so sweet, whispering in her ear that "everything is going to be okay. I promise you." She remembered how he cradled her head the whole way to the hospital, how he held her hand during the whole process of the interrogation from the doctors and her parents and Serena. How he agreed to never tell Nate. How he had cared enough to save her, to not tear her apart at her low point. Anybody else would have. _No! Do not call Chuck, that's a bad idea! _But even as Blair's mind told her not to, her heart was dialing his number.

_Ring…_

_Ring…_

_Ring…_

_Ring…_

"Blair! What a delightful surprise. What's wrong, need something to be thankful for?" she could practically see his smirk and could hear the smugness. And despite what she wanted, she smiled, he was just so _adorable_, so _Chuck._

"In your _dreams,_" Blair attempted to tease. After all, just hearing him was making her feel better, he didn't need to know, she couldn't stand to disappoint him. He'd always believed in her, always been her biggest fan and she suddenly realized how much she needed that.

"Blair, what's wrong?" Chuck's tender voice shocked Blair, almost as well as his ability to see right through her bullshit. Nobody had ever been able to do it so quickly, efficiently.

"_Wrong? _Well nothings wrong. I'm just so, bored, I guess," Blair fought to maintain her image. _It was a mistake to call Chuck. He's going to hate me, think I'm so worthless. _

"Bullshit Blair," Chuck didn't hide his annoyance, "If this is about fucking Nathaniel, I rather not hear it." Chuck's voice was cold, even for him.

"Not everything is about him!" Blair squealed indignitly.

"No he's not everything, just for _you_ he is," Chuck spat, not even trying to keep out the venom.

"Screw you Chuck," Blair felt hurt that he thought she was so _weak._

"You already have."

"I can't believe you! I can't believe I actually called YOU of all people!"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, forget I ever said anything."

"No, what's really the problem if it isn't about Nate?"

"Forget it, Chuck."

"No, tell me."

"I said forget it!"

"Blair."

"Chuck."

"Come on Blair, you know I hate these stupid mind games."

"Psh, you LOVE these games!"

"Not with you."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Don't change the subject."

"Why should I tell you something if you won't tell me anything?"

"Fine, I don't like playing these games with you because I care about you. Happy? Jeez, you're so fucking nosy, do you know that?"

"Do you mean that?"

"Well Blair, you're pretty freaking nosy."

"No, the part that you care?"

"Obviously."

"I puked."

Silence hung in the air and Blair began to panic. _He's hates me! He thinks I'm weak and helpless and needy, and oh my god he HATES me! And he'll never talk to me again and he'll never hold me and… wait! Why do I care if he ever holds me again? __Because you love when he holds you.__ Do not! Do __to__! Oh my god I'm having a conversation with myself! Why'd I tell him__ this was such a mistake, I can't believe that…_

"Blair?"

"Yes?" she hated how weak and scared she sounded. So _helpless._

"I'll be over there in two minutes, kay?"

"Uhm, okay."

"Bye."

"Bye." He hung up. Blair wrapped her arms around her knees and closed her eyes. She needed him. She needed Charles Bass. And she hated that. She always had needed him. She needed him more then she needed her mother. More than her father. Much more than Serena. And even more than Nate. And she'd always hated him for that. Because he always made her feel so damn _helpless._ And that was a feeling Blair never accepted.

"Blair," Chuck's quiet, gentle, but assertive voice made her head jerk up.

"Hi," she smiled, trying to cover everything. Trying desperately to put the mask back on. He sat by her. And grabbed her, pulling him onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. He snuggled his face into her hair. His mouth tickling her ear.

"Why?" a simple question, but it unsettled Blair.

"Because, I'm so tired." Her answer barely made sense, be he somehow understood.

"Of your mom?"

"Of everything."

"Of me?"

"Not really."

"What do you mean, not really?"

"I need you and it scares me." Blair had never been so honest, not even with her shrink, and it surprised her. But Chuck wasn't even fazed. And it was just one more reason why she loved him. Although it'd take her a while to admit it.

"What do you mean babe?"

"You're the only person I've ever needed. And you could kill me and you're a womanizer and you _scare me, _Chuck." Her voice was unusually raspy.

"So you hate that I can hurt you?"

"Yeah."

"Well stop, because I never will."

"Chuck."

"Blair." His tone was mimicking, she playfully slapped him and he smirked.

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

"Please."

"Blair, I love you, okay? Always have, always will. You can't get rid of me, and I just want you, and I ALWAYS get what I want." He smirked, and she giggled. She hated that she loved how he was so cocky.

"Fine."

"Well, what else, what else is wrong?"

"What isn't?" her stab at playfulness was awful, her voice cracked and everything. Chuck held onto her tighter, desperately trying to hold the fragile girl in front of him together.

"Hush Bubbles," his voice soothed her and she giggled at the use of his nickname for her from all those years ago. She looked up at him.

"Remember that day?"

"How could I forget?"

"We were playing at that park, me, you, Nate, and Serena."

"And there was that ridiculously big wedding."

"And I wanted to go in."

"But Nate wouldn't go in because he didn't want to break the rules."

"And Serena thought weddings were dumb."

"So I brought you."

"And we were dancing on the dance floor."

"And everybody kept saying how we were meant to be."

"And that they'd come to our big wedding."

"And then you saw the bubbles."

"I've always loved bubbles."

"And you started dancing in the middle of them, and popping them and kissing them."

"I tried to kiss them, but it's hard!"

"And so I danced with you in the bubbles."

"And you kissed me, my first kiss."

"I'm always going to be your first, huh?"

"Shut up Chuck."

"You tasted like soap."

"You liked it."

"Obviously, why do you think I call you Bubbles? I like to remember that day."

"Me too."

"Good."

"My mom told my dad not to come."

"Today?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, I know how much it meant to you."

"She told him that I haven't forgiven him. And then she gave the pie that we always make to the doorman."

"I'm so sorry Blair."

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault."

"I just hate when you're not happy."

"Serena and I got into a fight."

"About what?"

"About you."

"Oh."

"She saw us."

"Are you mad?"

"I'm mad that she judged me after all that she's done. I mean who is she to judge? She slept with MY boyfriend, and then she gets to pass judgement on me sleeping with you? I don't think so. And she said it was 'revenge sex' and even if it was, it's really not any of her business. And she was just so uppity, and superior. It pissed me off."

"Was it?"

"Was it what?"

"Was it revenge sex."

"I wish I could tell you it was for me Chuck, but you can always tell when I lie anyways. But I don't want to ruin this friendship. You're all I've got."

"I'm glad."

"That I don't want to ruin things?"

"That it wasn't revenge sex."

"Oh."

"I can feel the butterflies."

"Me too."

"Good."

"Good."

"What else?"

"Don't get mad, but I'm still upset about Nate."

"Why?"

"I'm mad that he could betray me after all I've done for him, I mean, seriously, what a jerk. He couldn't just keep it in his pants? And with my best friend!"

"That sucks."

"I know."

"You're sleeping with his bestfriend."

"We're broken up."

"Does it really matter?"

"I guess not."

"Do you regret us?""Never."

"Good."

"He betrayed me though, when I thought I loved him, I know he doesn't love me.""Does that make a difference?"

"Yes. He knew it'd destroy me. This is just going to piss him off for a little bit before he gets over it."

"You're right."

"I always am."

"I know."

"Good, you should know."

"You're beautiful."

"Shut up."

"Believe me."

"You just want to get into my pants."

"If I wanted to do that, I'd just do this." He slipped his hands up her thighs, she moaned, "but I'm not." And he whipped his hand away. She glared. He smirked. She straddled him, and swiveled her hips into his.

"Tell me you don't want to get under my skirt?" she hissed.

"Oh, yes, oh yes!" Chuck moaned. She stopped and hurt filled her eyes.

"I knew it."

"Well obviously I'd love to get under your skirt, but that's not the main reason I'm doing this Blair. Do you really think I'd risk my one friend for a girl? Of course not! But you're not a girl to me, Blair. You're MY Bubbles, when is that going to get through your head Blair? And _you're _the smart one!"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Chuck Bass never goes back on promises."

"And he's never going to start."

"Good."

"Good." She attacked his lips again. Because Chuck made her feel so many things. And Blair suddenly felt so beautiful, appreciated, loved, happy, whole, meaningful, wanted, complete, but one emotion ran the strongest, she felt so _helpless._ So out of control. She hated that feeling, more than all the other ones combined. Except for with Chuck. He always was the exception, for everything. And she loved it.

Because no matter how helpless she felt, so out of control. It didn't matter because Chuck would always be there, always pick up the pieces, always would make everything right. He could fix everything. He was here hero. And years from that moment, it'd still remain true. Chuck would always fix things for Blair. And he'd always make her feel those feelings. Even after they got married, after they had their children, even after their 50th anniversary. Chuck would always be Blair's hero, and Blair would always be the only one Chuck would want to save. They completed each other because when they were together, it didn't matter if they were _helpless._

**Hope you guys liked it! It was supposed to be only like two pages, but you know how Blair likes to perfect things and how Chuck loves to be center of attention, ****lol****. I really hoped you guys liked it and if you did please ****please****please**** REVIEW! ****Lol****So X's and O's.****loves**** you!**


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